This is why every parent should teach their child to develop an allegiance to at least one (1) team that would seem to have no actual hope of winning anything at all, ever*--because there is something to be said, at least in the realm of fandom, for the soft bigotry of low expectations, for enduring years of futility**. Because then, when your chosen team wins a tournament that hasn't technically been relevant since the 1950s, against a school best-known for murder and Branch Davidians, it still feels a little like VJ Day.
*Otherwise, there is a severe risk they'll end up a Yankee fan.
**One thing I neglected to mention here, in that long and angst-ridden exploration of my own personal history of Penn State basketball: If I have this story correct, a Penn State player, in the midst of one of several eras of hopelessness and futility, threw an extremely accurate chest pass to the Nittany Lion mascot. During a game. To be fair, I believe this was unintentional, and the Lion does wear a basketball uniform (though this predated Teen Wolf, so he could not evoke the "I thought our power forward had become a hirsute werewolf" excuse).
(Photo: Chris McGrath/Getty Images)
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