Oh, even though I have never actually heard her croon anything before, I have no doubt that this Hudson woman will perform a perfectly acceptable version of "One Shining Moment," the paean to meteors that punctuates the NCAA tournament each year. And this is exactly my fear. I don't want Idol-esque performance art when it comes to "One Shining Moment";* I want to revel in the raw brilliance of the song itself. The reason "One Shining Moment" exists is the same reason sitcom theme songs existed in the 1980s; this is why I prefer the original Shining Moment, as sung by the irrepressibly demented man who dreamed big enough to actually write it.** Bring back David Barrett, I say! NO ONE KNOWS HOW HARD HE WORKED!***
Before I disappear from cyberspace for a few days, here is the definitive, indisputable, inarguable list of the top five Corey Haim films of all time, in order:
5. Dream a Little Dream 2****
4. License to Drive (mostly for the girl with the crimped hair who may or may not have been in Meet the Parents)
2. Lucas (though that whole football storyline always makes me unbelievably sad.)
1. The Lost Boys (because I never regarded lo mein the same way again.)
*By the way, I turned on American Idol for the first time in my recent existence last night, only to find an earnest teenage girl belting out a version of Carole King's "I Feel the Earth Move" while rocking a Cindy Brady wig. It was, for those three minutes, as if I were stranded amid the detritus of a Carnival Cruise show gone horribly wrong. Even that unstable female judge groping Simon's collarbone seemed perplexed.
**In twenty minutes.
***For twenty minutes.
****This is the one where Haim puts a bullet in Fredo, yes?
*****I realize he was not in Goonies, but I honestly thought he was. And at this point, he might as well have been.