Tuesday, June 1, 2010

On Inconsequential Things That Matter To Me

1. The NBA Regular Season

In no other sport could the verities of a seven-month season be entirely invalidated over the course of several weeks. In other words, the NBA regular season has once again proved itself to be an utter waste of time; this, I would argue, is the biggest problem the league faces, given its financial realities. That the NBA playoffs defy conventional wisdom may seem like a plus, but it really isn't--it just reinforces every negative stereotype about professional basketball players. It makes people think they only care when it matters, which may be true, but it's a problem when it's so patently obvious.

Also, I have a bad feeling this may be the least interesting Celtics-Lakers finals matchup in modern history, but it's either that or start pretending that baseball matters.

2. Futbol

Let me just get this out of the way up front: I see no real reason that I should be obligated to cheer for the U.S. soccer team. I am (in general) proudly ignorant of this sport, and yet I am excited about the World Cup, but the reason I'm excited about the World Cup is because it is a chance to feel connected to a global event. Therefore, isn't it counterproductive to engage in jingoistic patriotism? Shouldn't I feel equally connected to Slovenia, which looks rather beautiful and, as a burgeoning Democratic republic, probably needs the confidence boost much more than we do? Or, as they say in Ljubljana, Moje vozilo na zra─Źni blazini je polno jegulj.*

3. Cleveland Has an Edge

First time this phrase was uttered since Joe Walsh released "The Smoker You Drink, The Player You Get."

*Translation: My hovercraft is full of eels.

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