On the NBA's Cranky, Manic Depressive Tendencies

Of all the explanations and rationalizations and manic hand-wringing over the reasons for Cleveland's defeat, of all the arguments that have been formulated against Mike Brown and Mo Williams and Delonte West and Danny Ferry and St. Vincent-St. Mary High School and the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and the city of Cleveland itself, of all the bandwidth occupied today by angst-ridden commenters blaming defeat on an inexplicable shortage of Lorenzen Wright or J.J. Hickson, of all the attempts to somehow condemn or marginalize LeBron James himself (although, in fact, based on the ridiculous numbers he put up in this series, you could make an effective argument that he is actually underrated)--it is this one, from Charley Rosen, that most confounded me. It is, I guess, one reason why the NBA is in a constant state of emotional anguish, why it is "always in trouble," and why the culture of the game itself is one of pathological self-obsession on all sides (fans, media, and the league):

LeBron's swaggering and continual self-promotion was the most egregious of these haughty antics. It's only fitting that the prestidigitations of the Magic made LeBron disappear in the same cloud of chalk dust that he ostentatiously employed to announce his imperial presence before each game.

I have little doubt that Charley Rosen could argue, quite effectively, that he has forgotten more about professional basketball in the past 24 hours than I will ever remember (and in his column, he does make some interesting points which allude to the basic fact that explains everything, which goes something like this, according to one addled Cleveland friend of mine: THE ORLANDO MAGIC ARE A BETTER TEAM THAN THE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS). But I refuse to believe that unfettered joy is somehow what doomed the Cleveland Cavaliers, just as I do not believe the league was somehow better, as Simmons and other have argued, when players were permitted to wrestle and brawl and charge into the stands after fans in truly regrettable sportjackets. Does this mean that Dwight Howard smiles too much to win a championship? And wouldn't Howard's invocation of the Lord as the central factor in Orlando's success qualify as a far more "haughty" and "ostentatious" gesture than the explusion of microparticles of chalk dust into the air?

I speak as a casual fan, but I presume I speak for many like me when I say that these have been the most compelling playoffs in recent memory. And yet it still seems like no one is quite happy with the NBA or its superstars, and its superstars are angst-ridden,* and even the NBA doesn't seem quite satisfied with itself. It is a twisted and psychologically complex relationship; Nike is perhaps the only self-assured party here, and their attempt to assuage us with Muppet propaganda has failed miserably. I suppose, if nothing else, this explains the game's continued attraction to tormented Jewish filmmakers.

*Rosen suggests LeBron's refusal to speak to the media after Game 6 reveals "an ego of... humungous proportions." I would argue that Rosen's attempt to delve into Freudian analysis of a player's refusal to utter five minutes of banal cliches, when in fact he will have six months to address every possible issue at hand, is probably a little overstated. But that's just me.

Update: Apparently Rosen has harbored a longstanding (and, as far as I can tell, largely inexplicable) grudge against LeBron. Is this "New Paltz bias"?

On the Internets (and NBA conspiracies)*

(NOTE: The first half of this post is a rant about the future of the Internet; the second half is a rant about NBA conspiracy theorists. I'm not sure if the two are at all related, but hey, it's a blog! Peruse at your leisure.)

And my point is this: the major content businesses of the world and the most talented creators of that content -- music, newspapers, movies and books -- have all been seriously harmed by the Internet....Freedom without restraint is chaos, and if we don't figure out some way to prevent online chaos, the quantity, quality and availability of the kinds of entertainment, literature, art and scholarship we need to have a healthy, vibrant culture will suffer.
--Michael Lynton, chairman and CEO, Sony Pictures Entertainment

It is not often that I find myself concurring with the general philosophical principles of a CEO, especially when said CEO happens to be blogging for the Huffington Post. Lynton's primary complaint is about Internet piracy, since it is piracy that most directly affects his own business, but I think the argument could be extended to include what he refers to as "changing business models," and this notion that the Internet has so completely changed the rules of our culture that--hey!--none of the old ones apply anymore. Of course, those of us who point out the danger of such an attitude are merely corporatist Luddite left/right-wing Jewish homosexual pornographers whose only interest is in impeding modern progress by stealing away your ability to read Thomas Friedman gratis while illegally downloading Nickelback songs and second-rate comic-book adaptations starring Tim Riggins.

I'm not quite sure how this is all going to end. But if we all believe that mainstream media and popular culture is mired in mediocrity and subjectivity, how is it going to improve by removing the financial incentive to create anything objectively worthwhile?

*One in a series of poorly informed (and mercifully brief) rants that have little or nothing to do with sports, except in an extremely tangential fashion.**

**However, let me add: I do find it amusing that the Internet has given the people the power to explode anything remotely controversial into an unquestioned conspiracy. Most notably, I am thinking of NBA officiating--which would seem to have certain legitimate conspiratorial elements. Therefore, given even the hint of an actual conspiracy (and granted, the Donaghy situation was not a great thing), it has now become an absolute given that the NBA is fixed, that is utterly rigged, that David Stern is a Nike-owned puppetmaster (ah, those commercials are one big metaphor!!!), and that Stern and his band of merry troublemakers (led by Joey Crawford) are pulling the strings for an L.A.-Cleveland NBA Finals.

Except, what happens if we do wind up with Orlando-Denver? Does this mean that Dwight Howard and his granite shoulders have somehow foiled Big Brother? Does this mean that Walt Disney and John Elway are in fact involved, in a much greater conspiracy than anything Nike could ever imagine? Does this mean David Stern has been ejected from the Bilderberg Group? Are the lizard people in charge? Is Rick Reilly somehow involved?

This sounds like a Warren Beatty movie waiting to happen!

But then, what do I know? I am just a corporate tool.

(Photo: Timothy A. Clarey/AFP/Getty Images, via SI.com)