On Inconsequential Things That Matter To Me (Premium Edition)

1. What Are You Waiting For?

 In the interest of testing the Internet's ability to coddle reactionary extremists, I was watching North Carolina bumble its way to a third straight defeat last night, and I thought to myself, "I wonder if anyone's started up a campaign to Fire Roy Williams yet?" Surprisingly enough, the movement has not picked up much momentum, though I am encouraged by this potentially ironic Facebook page (Population: Four). Mostly, I came across a bunch of disgruntled Cowboys fans with nowhere else to go.
On a related note, this site appears to have lost its moorings, proving that Joe Paterno will even outlive the Internet.

2. Jeff Jarvis, King of the (Free) World

 Here is Mr. Internet Journalism Visionary's reaction to the notion that The New York Times will take the radical step of charging its readers a small amount of money for a product that costs millions of dollars to produce:
So why charge your best customers?
Yes, he said that. Because charging customers, especially loyal customers, has proven the bane of capitalism for millions of years. Nobu thrives on the notion of providing its best customers black cod gratis; Citibank would not imagine charging the investment accounts of millionaires. And as usual, Jarvis buoys his argument by somehow setting Internet journalism into its own special category, by falling into the usual mumbo-jumbo about the link economy and about "content" being a "magnet" that can create "relationships of value," proving once again that he knows far more than I ever could about Internet metrics, which allows him, and only him, to defy common sense, and makes me the idiot for alienating people who want everything digital to be free.
Now I'll walk to my favorite bodega to steal a six pack of Coca-Cola.

3. Quarterback Angst

Say what you will about Fountains of Wayne--and certainly, the sheer ubiquity of Stacy's Mom was worthy of a lengthy ostracism from society--but you cannot deny that this is the best song ever written about the inner monologue of a quarterback. Just as Friday Night Lights has the ability to emotionally manipulate certain people I know to the verge of tears, this song does the same for me. Seriously: I heard it on the subway this afternoon, and I immediately thought of Mark Sanchez, and in that instant I became a Jets fan. I cannot explain what it is, except that it captures a moment of physical and spiritual enlightenment in a deceptively simple way. It makes me yearn to witness the manifestation of greatness.
Also, I love football far too much.